We barely knew each other. I saw you there, no, we were supposed to be togædere, to be fitted in one aggregation but I was choosing the other way. I had no idea. Who was that living creature, le petit humain, la petit fille—precisely, you were looked like a little girl on my first impression—among zillion living creatures living the earth? I don’t know. With those two pair of white ribbon shoes on your little feet, felt like I had captured you somewhere before and lost the photograph itself. It stranded in somewhere, on the brain. Couldn’t find it anywhere, probably because my brain was completely a mess at that time.
I had been looking thru the piece of glass, the interconnected webs at that time. Chercher ton existence. Pardon my curiosity, well, it had killed the cat anyway. There you were, as a person. With a persona, playing the masquerade among the grown-ups. My curiosity killed the cat again; I was so reluctant to let my fingers touched the button, but the force between my fingers and my brain was tough, and my fingers won. Precisely; the game was intentionally started by these innocents.
There you were, unpredictably, standing in front of my existence. You saw my existence on the interconnected webs. You finally decided to join the game. Those days, when those little things popped the glass, left the reddish as an epitome on the corner at the end of the day. I thought it was considered normal. The gap was okay, we were still on the different strata. You were okay.
But I wasn’t okay since I thought you weren’t a normal person.
Until that night, when the darkness overwhelmed the whole night and the droplets didn’t want to stop themselves. Tons of unsolved things were my loyal acquaintances. I pressed the button. You were there and left the trace, with some numbers. Questioning the life.
Until we got the chance to ask each other’s life. Face-to-face. Of course, with the gap lingered. And personal spaces. But we shared each other personal spaces anyway. Until you started another game by leaving your small piece of notes to me. Personal notes. Seemed you really wanted me to be involved on this game by sending some jumbled characters to you.
I was completely aware that my role was the innocent guy. I played the innocent guy. I acted like i didn’t know anything, like there was nothing happened, like there was nothing to be exaggerated, whispered my brain. So I finally decided to join your game.
I was the one who typed hesitantly, and ended up erased the whole stranded, jumbled characters that supposed to be arranged but it didn’t. But sent it anyway. With some cheers, left the creepy smile to make it more friendly. And an exclamation mark, which was my bad habit. It was obvious for those who didn’t know me that well, exclamation mark must be a thing: a portrayal of apoplectic head.
Minutes passed. Hours spent.
At the end, cerulean blue was the only thing I found. The only trace intentionally left there by you.
I was sighed. I was standing on the bus at that time since the bus was filled with homo sapiens. It was a long gap of silence and thoughts until I finally arrived at my temporary home. I tried to bury my disappointment deep down there.
Ah, right. There was this small lake near my home. I was thinking to drown everything, all of them, those hours and games we’d spend on. Probably I didn’t exist at all in your eyes. Probably.
I opened my window to get some fresh airs. That night was filled by stars. I could see Proxima Centauri clearly. It was unusual. I didn’t usually find it shining brightly, the sky was polluted and hard enough to be seen. But that day was different. Well, I wasn’t trying to be superstitious.
That night, there was something different. Someone was walking down there. Seemed so familiar, with the posture and all of those measurements. And the pair of white ribbon shoes. I strangely looked at it. Until the person was realised I was stared on the shoes. She smiled mysteriously & waved at me. It was her.
(to be continued)