Holding hands—or holding the future? Or holding the selfishness, creating they own world. Solitary.

I’d rather to befriend the solitude than face the reality to engage with those people who doesn’t even want me in their world, either being a complement or a substitute. Unlisted.

People say it seems not that hard to me to engage with new people and make friends with them. Well, they just didn’t know what lies behind. “Look at those eyes! They’re rejecting you. They don’t want you. Let’s have another walk. Find another one. Someone who will accept you as a friend, the way you are.” Told these two hemispheres of the upper part organ. My brain.

Then I walked again. I had some miles to get through. Passed million human being. Some others were decent enough to be called as human, some others not. Some others did realise my existence, some others just let it be. Some others welcomed me to their life, some others left those disgusting look to my presence.

I’ve been spending 6787 days here. Still struggling, still got rejected by those eyes. My mother said I’ve always got that social problem since my kindergarten. Still the same, until now. I don’t know, probably the problem is in me, or I am the problem myself. The unwanted persona non grata.

Lundi, 23 Janvier 2017. With all of these broken-hearted feelings, rejected by the society.


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